Being a woman, you need your needs better than anyone else, you can be your husband’s most effective teacher. He needs to learn from you why it’s important to listen to you and how to listen.
First, explain why it’s important to you that he spends time listening with his undivided attention. The woman called “virtuous” was so-called because she had convictions and influence.convictions bring influence. When you’re sold on something, like the importance of a better relationship, it will show through your facial expressions. Let him know that when he doesn’t listen to you attentively, it makes you feel unimportant and unappreciated. Explain that this, in turn, decreases your desire to meet his needs. Make it clear, however, that the opposite is also true. When he consistently listens to you with attentiveness, you feel more important and have a much stronger desire to meet his needs with greater creativity. You may have to tell him these things repeatedly before they sink in. But each time the opportunity arises, you have another chance to stimulate his curiosity.
In addition to explaining Why you need his undivided attention, you must show him how to give it. Discuss the non-verbal means of communication with him. As he learns to understand your feelings by looking at your eyes and facial expressions, your communication and your relationship will deepen. Gently remind him that his partial listening doesn’t do any good, that you don’t want to compare with work, sports, and TV.
Be careful not let your times of communication deteriorate into an argument. Use your sensitivity to learn how to side-step issues, words, or mannerisms that ignite an argument. Some women concede that the only way they get their husband’s undivided attention which builds a healthy relationship. Let your communication be as encouraging and delightful as possible. learning to gain your husband’s undivided attention on a consistent basis will be a major undertaking. However, gaining his attention is not an end in itself. It is meant to develop several beautiful facets to your relationship. One of those facets, helping your husband become aware of your emotional and romantic needs, is discussed in the Book “The Joy of Committed Love”.